Lemme Heffernan
The Network Upfronts & More From the Road
Auto-Generated Transcript
Intro:
Chew with a guy named Kevin, chew it, and this other guy, Steve, chew it from the TV and the mobs, and now this podcast straight chew it. They’re going to get chewy, chew it. They might even get me chew it, but they’re going to get funky on this podcast.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. What’s
Steve Lemme:
Up, man? Oh man. What are you chew on? I’m chew on a New York pizza slice. Really?
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. What kind?
Steve Lemme:
Pepperoni.
Kevin Heffernan:
Pepperoni? Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. You know why?
Kevin Heffernan:
Why?
Steve Lemme:
Because I’m in New York City.
Kevin Heffernan:
I know you are. Yeah. So am I. Yeah. We’re both in New York City. You sure are. I was chewing on a slice too. I had a Sicilian.
Steve Lemme:
Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
It’s chewy. It’s
Steve Lemme:
Thick. It is chewy.
Kevin Heffernan:
It’s a thicker slice. But now, okay, we just went and got slices. Yeah. Because we landed here, put our bags down and went and got some slices. Yeah. Actually at the old,
Steve Lemme:
Yeah, the Spring Street. The
Kevin Heffernan:
Spring Street place. The old place where we used to our old haunts. Yeah. I used to come home from law school. Did you know that I went to law school?
Steve Lemme:
I did. I hear you’re a lawyer in two states.
Kevin Heffernan:
That’s right. I’d get off the subway at Spring Street. Yeah. The ac, and then I would stop and get a slice on the way to my apartment.
Steve Lemme:
So you’d come back from practicing law?
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. Not really to learning about law.
Steve Lemme:
And you’d go to one of our old wants.
Kevin Heffernan:
That’s right. And then I’d go there and have a slice, or
Steve Lemme:
We just went there.
Kevin Heffernan:
But you didn’t get a pepperoni slice though. We went there, so I don’t know what
Steve Lemme:
You’re, oh, I didn’t realize chewing. It was.
Kevin Heffernan:
It doesn’t have
Steve Lemme:
To be the thing we just ate,
Kevin Heffernan:
But if it’s the thing that you desire, how come we didn’t get
Steve Lemme:
That when we, because I only had had enough room for one slice, and I saw a pepperoni slice, but then I saw a slice with pepperoni and some like a kookier slice. You have some sausage type thing. And I thought, well, let me get in on this thing. Okay. Just I’ll double it up. Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
Got it.
Steve Lemme:
And I’ll say this, it actually turned out to be a barbecue chicken and pepperoni and sausage slice.
Kevin Heffernan:
Did you know that?
Steve Lemme:
No. I didn’t realize. Did you want that? No. I didn’t realize there was chicken on that. Oh, it’s okay though. It was still delicious.
Kevin Heffernan:
I guess it’s okay. I don’t like barbecue chicken on my pizza.
Steve Lemme:
Oh, I like a barbecue chicken pizza. But it wasn’t what I was in the mood for. Okay. But pepperoni pizza is my favorite pizza of all time. Okay. But that’s what I’m chewing now.
Kevin Heffernan:
Maybe tomorrow you can, yeah, maybe for breakfast. Yeah. You can go over there and get it. Okay. So you’re chewing that? I was chewing the same thing. I was a
Steve Lemme:
Little irked because the pizza there has tripled in priced since
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. When we were kicking around. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
Listen, before we get in into the really interesting stuff.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. What
Steve Lemme:
I want to talk about some people who are helping us out with this episode.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, this episode of Chewing
Steve Lemme:
It? Yeah. This episode of Chewing It is brought to you by our good friends@brooklinen.com. Cut
Kevin Heffernan:
What? Brooklyn Linen. You
Steve Lemme:
Remember brooklinen.com? I haven’t heard
Kevin Heffernan:
From them in a little while.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Well, they haven’t heard from us in, well,
Kevin Heffernan:
I know we haven’t been podcasting, but here we are. Now we’re back. And now Brooklyn is back us.
Steve Lemme:
But here we are and we’re in a hotel right now. You think
Kevin Heffernan:
I can get some new Brooklynn sheets
Steve Lemme:
Or what? I, I’d like to because I love my Brooklynn sheets. Me too.
Kevin Heffernan:
Me too.
Steve Lemme:
Spend a lot of time in bed.
Kevin Heffernan:
I like to have some more.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. And speaking of being in a hotel. Yeah. brooklynn.com delivers five star hotel quality sheets.
Kevin Heffernan:
Wow.
Steve Lemme:
But not at five star quality hotel prices.
Kevin Heffernan:
Ah, okay. Yes.
Steve Lemme:
They have 35,005 star reviews, which is more than any other online betting company.
Kevin Heffernan:
Have you ever considered folding up your Brooklynn sheets, put ’em in your suitcase and take ’em to the hotel with you?
Steve Lemme:
I have considered that because that comfortable
Kevin Heffernan:
And they really are.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. But here, I mean, these are hotel quality sheets, right? Here they are. You know what I like about a hotel quality sheet that you get from brooklyn.com? Crisp. Crisp. They’re crisp. And also when you get on ’em, they’re a little cool. Oh yeah. You know what I’m talking about. I
Kevin Heffernan:
Hear you. I hear
Steve Lemme:
You. Anyway, these are luxury sheets. Without the luxury markup, most betting is marked up as much as 300%, but not Brooklyn. And my Brooklynn sheets are the best, most comfortable sheets I have ever slept on. Now look, it sounds like I’m reading that. I am reading that you are reading it, but I actually do mean it. Everybody knows that I love my Brooklynn sheets. Your wife loves your Brooklynn sheets. Yep. Now, brooklynn.com is giving an inclusive offer for two crew members. Oh, 10% off your first order and free shipping when you use promo code. Chew in
Kevin Heffernan:
Nice@brooklinen.com.
Steve Lemme:
Do you get a hug
Kevin Heffernan:
With that too, or what?
Steve Lemme:
Look, if somebody comes to one of our shows and has gotten Brook linen sheets and is in the chew crew, I’ll give ’em two hugs. How
Kevin Heffernan:
Do they have to bring them with them?
Steve Lemme:
They could just tell me they
Kevin Heffernan:
Just bring a pillowcase or
Steve Lemme:
A photo. Bring
Kevin Heffernan:
A pillowcase. That’s enough. Sure,
Steve Lemme:
Sure. Anyway. Brooklinen is so confident that their product and their product, that all their shoots come from the towels come with a lifetime warranty. The only way to get 10% off your first order and free shipping is to use promo code chew win@brooklinen.com. That’s B R O O K L I N E n.com. Promo code chewing. Do it brooklinen.
Kevin Heffernan:
These really best sheets ever. Go get some sheets. Go get ’em, man. Go get a chew crew.
Steve Lemme:
You like to sleep, right? Queen?
Kevin Heffernan:
I do. I like to sleep. I mean, I’m kind of tired right now, but
Steve Lemme:
Why are you so tired?
Kevin Heffernan:
Well, we’ve been traveling. We’re like, we’re traveling like 20 year olds here. You know what I mean? We’re traveling the country. We went from one corner of the country to the other corner of the country in about four days. And I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that that wears a, on a big body like mine. Sure.
Steve Lemme:
Well, are
Kevin Heffernan:
You, and the body only gets bigger.
Steve Lemme:
You’re not complaining. Are you venting?
Kevin Heffernan:
No, not
Steve Lemme:
Venting. Are you browsing
Kevin Heffernan:
Not browsing at all?
Steve Lemme:
No. Are you just delivering facts?
Kevin Heffernan:
Just delivering facts? I’m, I’m a little tired.
Steve Lemme:
Where have we been? Tell us
Kevin Heffernan:
A little, want to bounce back? I’m going to bounce back out of it. We have been to see, are we doing this now or we You want me to go through each one? I
Steve Lemme:
Don’t know. We’re recording a podcast.
Kevin Heffernan:
I know, I know. But
Steve Lemme:
I know it probably has gone off the order of your list. As always. When you get tripped up with your list, I
Kevin Heffernan:
Say I don’t, I’m tripped up with my list
Steve Lemme:
A flying
Kevin Heffernan:
Fuck. I know it. I know you don’t. Well, we don’t really have any plugs. I guess we should try to plug anyway. What if this podcast comes out in time? Okay. Right. We got a show at the Bowery Ballroom tomorrow night, tonight. I guess it depends how you look at it. I’m saying it’s tomorrow night because we’re recording
Steve Lemme:
Today. If somebody’s listening to it today,
Kevin Heffernan:
Then I would say to them, it’s Thursday night at the Bowery Ballroom.
Steve Lemme:
I’m about to walk out of this fucking hotel room. You anal motherfucker.
Kevin Heffernan:
I’m just telling the truth. You’re asking me an
Steve Lemme:
Act. All right. So if this thing’s coming out on Thursday,
Kevin Heffernan:
Correct?
Steve Lemme:
It’s our show’s tonight at the Bowery
Kevin Heffernan:
Ballroom. It’s Thursday night. Yep. Thursday, May 23rd. God at the Bowery Ballroom. Good God. Which would be fun. I’ve done that. I’ve done that. I venue before.
Steve Lemme:
You’ve played that hall.
Kevin Heffernan:
And it’s good. It’s a, it’s rowdy. You like that place? It’s a rowdy drinking hall. So anyway, if this podcast drops in time.
Steve Lemme:
No, you didn’t.
Kevin Heffernan:
Then you’ll know that you can go see it. I guess the only other plugs we have are Tacoma fd, right? Yeah. If this thing drops on Thursday, then there’ll be a fresh new episode. Episode nine. Yeah. We will be playing Thursday night. May 23rd. Yeah. And what is it? It’s the
Steve Lemme:
Ninth episode.
Kevin Heffernan:
It’s called I’m Eddie Panzi. Yeah, I’m Eddie Panzi is the name of the thing. It’s
Steve Lemme:
The boxing episode. It’s the Tacoma Fire Department. This was the Tacoma Police Department episode.
Kevin Heffernan:
Right. We go head to head again like we did earlier in the season,
Steve Lemme:
But this time we’re really, we’re putting in the ring for charity, but there’s a little something extra on the line because I’m sleeping with the estranged wife of the police captain.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, okay.
Steve Lemme:
What are you going to do? Spoiler
Kevin Heffernan:
Alert. What are you going to do? What can’t you do?
Steve Lemme:
You know, find that out pretty quick. You do.
Kevin Heffernan:
And so that’s an all new episode. And then next week is the season finale. Can you
Steve Lemme:
Believe that? Yeah. So this week’s episode is the penultimate
Kevin Heffernan:
Episode. That’s right. And next
Steve Lemme:
Week I saying that word
Kevin Heffernan:
Is the finale. I can’t believe we’ve gotten to the finale. Yeah,
Steve Lemme:
We haven’t. You and I haven’t really had a lot of time to enjoy
Kevin Heffernan:
No. The
Steve Lemme:
Series, because it hasn’t us in post-production editing and putting finishing touches on the episodes. Then the second we had a moment to breathe, we went on the road.
Kevin Heffernan:
I know we’ve been doing some travel, so we haven’t had time to just sit back and relax. I guess I’ll do that for the finale. Yeah. And think
Steve Lemme:
Had you’ve got something the night of the finale.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, you have a band concert? My daughter has a band concert that night, and so I’ll be going to that. Yeah. And this eighth grade band, so that,
Steve Lemme:
That’s What instrument does she play?
Kevin Heffernan:
She plays the clarinet.
Steve Lemme:
Get out,
Kevin Heffernan:
And so she’ll be up there, shut the front door, ripping it up. Yep.
Steve Lemme:
Clarinet solo.
Kevin Heffernan:
I’ll be there. I hope so.
Steve Lemme:
Does she idolize Kenny G? He’s a, A clarinettist? I don’t think so.
Kevin Heffernan:
He’s an alto saxophone player. I don’t think he’s a clarinet player.
Steve Lemme:
But isn’t that, is that the straight saxophone? Yeah, because I just have a thing with him straight out from his mouth as he plays that
Kevin Heffernan:
Thing. One’s brass and one’s a woodwind.
Steve Lemme:
Okay, so he’s an alto saxophonist. Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. So, well, that’s what DVR is for. I’ll go to the band concert and then I’ll come and watch the series finale. No, that’s season the finale. Finale. Let’s hope it’s not the series.
Steve Lemme:
Well, we don’t know. We still haven’t been renewed.
Kevin Heffernan:
We’re still waiting our, we’re supposed to write, we’re supposed to start the writer’s room for the new episode.
Steve Lemme:
If we were to
Kevin Heffernan:
Get in a couple of weeks, we’re just waiting on our green light.
Steve Lemme:
It’s amazing because pretty much everything else has been greenlit and I don’t know, I don’t what else we could possibly do to get a season two. I mean, listen, this is no shit. This is not me joking. I say this with a straight face. We are the number one new comedy series on cable.
Kevin Heffernan:
No question about it.
Steve Lemme:
That’s just the way it is.
Kevin Heffernan:
Those are fact.
Steve Lemme:
Those are hard, cold, hard facts.
Kevin Heffernan:
So the numbers are good. Everyone’s happy. We’re out promoting the amount of people that we run into who love the show is phenomenal. So we are hoping we have a season two,
Steve Lemme:
But if you’re keeping an eye on what’s going on, there’s been this at and t takeover of Ty Warner, and it’s caught up in all the corporate red tape. There’s some corporate
Kevin Heffernan:
Bullshit going on, but whatever, we’ll get there. We’ll get there. We’ll be all right. In the meantime, people can enjoy the season finale. And I was thinking we had a lot of big plans for podcasting while the season was going on, but you know what I mean, the sad, that’s not sad. But I guess the reality of the situation is we’ll start the writer’s room now and then if we are allowed to, and then the new season would air next spring, which is a long time to go without some chew Tacoma fd. So we should make up for it. And the Chew, right? We can do the thing. We’ll go over the episodes. We can have the cast on now, now that everyone knows who these folks are. Sure. We should have cast members on. Sure. And it’ll help us bite our time until we have fresh new episodes for
Steve Lemme:
Everybody. And we’ve even talked about doing a commentary track for the
Kevin Heffernan:
Episodes. That’s right.
Steve Lemme:
Which would be good. And we still owe a commentary for Super Troopers too. Oh my goodness. And we know this.
Kevin Heffernan:
All right, we’ll do that and we’ll get there. We’re
Steve Lemme:
Going to do it. We’re going to do
Kevin Heffernan:
It. Okay. So that’s next week, the 30th, the season finale. Yeah. Tacoma fd. There is a fire that we fight. Yeah. Isn’t that heroic?
Steve Lemme:
It’s going to be exciting. It’s a good
Kevin Heffernan:
Episode. Okay. So anyway, we’ve been traveling around. We’re in New York City now. We’re in the last of our stops.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. This is it. We’re doing our final show for at least two years. But based on how I’m feeling about you right now, it might be our last show ever.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, well, don’t feel that way. We have another season of television to
Steve Lemme:
Make together. Okay. Well that No, that will do. That will do for as long. Do that one for 10 seasons.
Kevin Heffernan:
How’s your hernia?
Steve Lemme:
My hernia’s good.
Kevin Heffernan:
Alright. Let’s give Chuco an update on your hernia. Okay.
Steve Lemme:
Well, let’s see. I’m glad you asked Kev. Each week there’s always, it’s
Kevin Heffernan:
A little better.
Steve Lemme:
And this week I’m feeling pretty good. I think it was the last time we podcast. I had just aggravated it.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. Right. Playing
Steve Lemme:
Soccer with my dad, or maybe it was two podcasts ago, playing soccer with my son. And so I vowed to let myself heal and not do a single bit of exercise.
Kevin Heffernan:
And
Steve Lemme:
I haven’t done any exercise. Okay. I can tell. And I know that’s the problem, is that I think the outside forces are conspiring to kill me slowly.
Kevin Heffernan:
Well, it’s true. We were just talking about this. We, there’s that Fox Sports one interview we did with that, Christine Lahey is her name.
Steve Lemme:
Christine Leahy.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. And so that aired, or that went up on the intranet,
Steve Lemme:
Didn’t it Drop Kev?
Kevin Heffernan:
It dropped. And we look like fat pigs
Steve Lemme:
In it. I just looked at it today. I’ve got tits in it. I’ve got tits. I was like, holy shit.
Kevin Heffernan:
Compared to that lovely Christine, we look like fat pigs.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. No, I mean, not even compared to her. Just we look like fat pigs. Yeah, exactly. And I’ve seen, I’ve clips from some of those Instagram stories, things I was doing on the road, and we look like fat pigs.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh God. I’m going to get on top of that.
Steve Lemme:
But the problem with my hernia surgery is, you know, have
Kevin Heffernan:
Something to blame it on. I don’t.
Steve Lemme:
True. But no, you can blame it on the fact that we’ve been True TV has tried to kill us, basically. Yeah. Because like we did all those months in the editing room, and then when there was a moment to breathe, they sent us on the road to do a promotional tour, which just means not a lot of exercise, not a lot of rest, A lot of shitty food. Also a lot of beer drinking. A lot of beer
Kevin Heffernan:
Drinking. Do you think if I didn’t eat any food for the month of June, I could get back to where I needed to be?
Steve Lemme:
If you didn’t eat any
Kevin Heffernan:
Food? I could. Not a morsel.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. I think you’d be looking great.
Kevin Heffernan:
All right, then. That’s what I’m going to do. I
Steve Lemme:
Think you’d be looking great. But it’s funny, like here, here’s a little slice on the road. These are the things that excite us. Obviously, I spent a great deal of time talking about the Iowa we went to. Right. But then it’s like we got into Portland. We popped off of McCormick and Schmick right off the bat.
Kevin Heffernan:
Right. It was next door to the hotel. We figured we’d get a quick steak.
Steve Lemme:
And then yesterday we got to Boulder. There was an Outback steakhouse right across the street from our hotel.
Kevin Heffernan:
That was your dream moment. We pulled into the hotel parking lot and you went, it was like the Outback was adjacent. Our hotel was Outback adjacent.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. And do you remember the first words out of my mouth and this level of excitement? I went, Outback Steakhouse. Yeah. Right. That’s how I said it.
Kevin Heffernan:
And then we So wanted to go there. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
Well, I’ll tell you this. I was bummed. We didn’t get enough time to enjoy it. We were there for
Kevin Heffernan:
Four, five minutes. We were in a hurry. Yeah. Yeah. We
Steve Lemme:
Powered our meal. Yep. I’ll say this. The file mignon I had there was delicious.
Kevin Heffernan:
It was good.
Steve Lemme:
It was delicious. I think Outback Steakhouse gets a bad wrap. People are like, oh, it’s the bloom and onion place. And it’s a, yeah,
Kevin Heffernan:
It’s a chain. It’s a chain. It’s a,
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Tell you what though. That file mignon that they’ve got there was delicious. Okay, good. I mean,
Kevin Heffernan:
Delicious. Now, my steak was good
Steve Lemme:
Too, but that’s a little slice. And then we did our show, and it was a green room scenario where some of the things in there, we had the broken lizard boys.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah, we’re going to get to that.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah, I know we will. But I’m talking about it now. Okay,
Kevin Heffernan:
Go ahead.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. And we got green room requests from all the lizards. And of course, soda was like, and I want chocolate chip cookies.
Kevin Heffernan:
Is that why they were there?
Steve Lemme:
Yes.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, I didn’t know that. That
Steve Lemme:
Was part of his green room request was chocolate chip
Kevin Heffernan:
Cookies. I thought they just brought them. Okay.
Steve Lemme:
No, he said, just cookie. I want cookies.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay.
Steve Lemme:
So since my favorite cookies is the chocolate chip cookie, that’s what I requested was the chocolate chip cookies. They were there for him.
Kevin Heffernan:
I see.
Steve Lemme:
Okay. There was a whole, that’s weakness. Box of C chip cookies. My cookies are my weakness. Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
Did you have any?
Steve Lemme:
I had two. Okay. Did you have any?
Kevin Heffernan:
I had one, but it wasn’t pleasant for me. They hurt my teeth.
Steve Lemme:
Right, right.
Kevin Heffernan:
I’ve been into one, and then I knew I made a mistake and I was in pain. And then I was like, ah, fuck this.
Steve Lemme:
Because they’re big chocolate chips in those
Kevin Heffernan:
Cookies. They’re big. And it’s a very sugary batter.
Steve Lemme:
Batter. Batter. Are you, aren’t you eloquent
Kevin Heffernan:
Batter before we went to On the Road, though? I mean, well, since the last time we talked to the Chew crew. Yeah. We were here in New York. Yes. A week ago. Yes. For the Upfronts, which is what we explained to everyone last week, I think it was because we were on our way to the upfronts, and that’s kind of like we told everyone. It’s the yearly kind of big event where each network makes a presentation to the advertisers in order to sell advertising. And so they trot out all the celebrities and the stars that are shows, and they make a big presentation, and then they have parties and dinners and that kind of shit. And so the whole cast of Tacoma fd. Yeah. And me, we came here to New York and we did this big upfront ceremony.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Well, and what a difference a year makes, because last year it was just the two of us. And in this presentation, all the advertisers, they did not even mention Tacoma fd. Sure. Even though we had been picked up and this year were, there was the whole cast, and we were all over that presentation, even though
Kevin Heffernan:
We were prominently
Steve Lemme:
Displayed, even though we have not been picked up,
Kevin Heffernan:
It was presented as if we had been picked up. They talked about the future of True TV and how we were the number one comedy, new comedy, and da da da. So you would think that we
Steve Lemme:
Would be, yeah. Yeah. But we haven’t been,
Kevin Heffernan:
Were a little bit more darlings this year than we were the previous year because the, we’ve had some success with the show.
Steve Lemme:
Do you think we’ll ever get treated with respect, Jeff?
Kevin Heffernan:
No.
Steve Lemme:
Do you think we’ll ever have a year where it’s like, oh, it’s just this year’s going to be an easy year psychologically?
Kevin Heffernan:
I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think that broken lizard in our movies and our resume, they’re not critical darlings. You know what I mean? But people out there in the world, real people, everyday people, they love the shit we
Steve Lemme:
Do. I always feel like we’re hanging on onto a window sill on the 90th floor by three fingers. I’m on the outside of the building, by the way. No,
Kevin Heffernan:
You have a lot of people who like what you do.
Steve Lemme:
Listen, we travel around and for sure we get that. Yeah. And that’s great. And it’s funny too, it’s like we’re at the hotel and we walk by and the doorman of the hotel, you could hear whisper to somebody else, he goes, FVA. Yeah. It’s like that. That’s great. It’s all great. Yeah. The white staff at the Outback Steakhouse wanted to take photos. Absolutely. Because it’s great.
Kevin Heffernan:
But the critic of the New York Times or whatever, no, I guess not. The New York Times, it’s not fair. The critic at the whatever.
Steve Lemme:
No New York. We are actually the critic.
Kevin Heffernan:
You get the good crew. We’re the critics. We get the good review of times. But other kind of more highbrow kind of, they’re not going to pick you lemi. They’re not going to do it. Sure. Well, this year they’re going to pick the ComEd. It’s that Bob Fossey show is going to be the critical darling, and you’re going to be the frat boy humor. That’s just the way it is, man. I’ll
Steve Lemme:
Tell you this. Tacoma FD is different. And
Kevin Heffernan:
I don’t care.
Steve Lemme:
Well, I don’t give a flying fuck.
Kevin Heffernan:
Because all it really matters is that the people who watch show like the show. Here’s what, and there’s so many people who are liking the show. It doesn’t matter to
Steve Lemme:
Me. Here’s what I know. Yeah. Tacoma FD is the number one new comedy series on cable. That’s what I know. Numbers talks True shit
Kevin Heffernan:
Walk. But at the same time, I mean front, they’re very nice to us. And people acknowledged the success that we had, and we had a great time hanging around with a lot of different people there. We hung around with the Impractical Jokers.
Steve Lemme:
We did. We saw our boys Blast Practical Jokers, and we
Kevin Heffernan:
Had beers with ’em and hung out with them and went to parties with them and And had a lot of laughs with them. Yeah. It’s
Steve Lemme:
Fun. And so just to refresh everybody, we’ve known Q Brian Quinn for a long time, since back in the nineties. But now we’re becoming friends with
Kevin Heffernan:
Joe Gato,
Steve Lemme:
Joe Gato, and Mers and Sal Ano. That’s a great fucking name. Sal’s a great,
Kevin Heffernan:
Ano great name. It’s a great name.
Steve Lemme:
And they’re all great guys. And Joe Gato. It was funny. We, do you remember that we, after the upfronts, after the second party?
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
We rode in the Gatto Sprinter van back to the
Kevin Heffernan:
Hotel. Yeah. We ruined a big van. And
Steve Lemme:
All we did was the entire cast of Tacoma FD just gave him shit. It was great. We just harassed him the entire way back.
Kevin Heffernan:
And he loved it,
Steve Lemme:
And he fucking loved it. He
Kevin Heffernan:
Loved it. Which that was the fun thing about it. But that was one of those late night shows. But in the morning, we went over and we did this big presentation, and all the celebrities are there, and all the people from Turner there, like Conan O’Brien was the guy, the kind mc, and Shaq was there. Oh, yeah. Harry Potter was there. And a
Steve Lemme:
Highlight was when Shaquille O’Neal was like, oh, there’s Harry Potter in the crowd. And he brought him up on stage. He brought
Kevin Heffernan:
Harry Potter up on say, week.
Steve Lemme:
Daniel Radcliffe. Yeah. And he, I mean, Shaq over Daniel Rackley.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, it’s hysterical.
Steve Lemme:
And just look, to be clear, I’m taller as Daniel clef, too. Are you?
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
Are you? Yes, I am. Are you sure? I’m pretty paw.
Kevin Heffernan:
I sensed the chink in the
Steve Lemme:
Armor. But here’s what I do know. Here’s what I do know. When I stand next to Shaq, no joke. No exaggeration. His butt is at my chest.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. His ass is at
Steve Lemme:
My
Kevin Heffernan:
Chest. Yeah, me too. And you’re like, it’s a stunning moment when you realize that, that he’s standing behind you and you turn around and he’s just a gigantic human being. Yeah. He’s a gigantic, just a gigantic human being. Yeah. And funny as shit. Oh, so fucking, he goes up on the stage and just goes off the cuff in front of thousands of people. Yeah. Like any good standup comic. Yeah. Fucking great.
Steve Lemme:
No, he’s awesome. Hysterical. The highlight of last year’s upfronts was him and Conan and Anderson. Cooper going,
Kevin Heffernan:
Just going at it.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Now, speaking of Anderson Cooper, everybody knows that I went to high school with Anderson Cooper, and we you did on this podcast and Broken Lizard Life and all that stuff. Anderson, my relationship with Anderson Cooper has been a subject of much discussion and conversation, discussion and conversation. And we saw him. He walked by us at the upfront, and I didn’t say hi to him. And I have, and I realized I really could have just said, Hey, Anderson. What’s up, Steve? Yeah. And just said hi to him. And yet still, he
Kevin Heffernan:
Was so close
Steve Lemme:
To you, and yet I still didn’t do, he
Kevin Heffernan:
Almost brushed by you?
Steve Lemme:
He basically did brush by me. Yeah. But one of these days, I just have to say hi to him.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. I want to be there when that happens. No,
Steve Lemme:
I know. And
Kevin Heffernan:
Who are you again?
Steve Lemme:
Yeah,
Kevin Heffernan:
Anderson is, it’s me. It’s Steve Lemmy.
Steve Lemme:
He remembered me. Dude. It’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Steve.
Steve Lemme:
It’s Steve O
Kevin Heffernan:
Anderson.
Steve Lemme:
It’s Lamb Dog
Kevin Heffernan:
Anderson. It’s Steve. It’s
Steve Lemme:
Steve.
Kevin Heffernan:
Steve. Steve. Steve, Steve Lemmy. Steve,
Steve Lemme:
Let you What?
Kevin Heffernan:
I’m not familiar. We went to
Steve Lemme:
High
Kevin Heffernan:
School together, and I know you from where
Steve Lemme:
And you are who We
Kevin Heffernan:
Went to High. I was waiting for the moment. And he walked by and we were standing with one of the true TV executives who you’ve told Anderson Cooper story too. And all of us were waiting in anticipation for you to reach out and just brush his shoulder. But you didn’t
Steve Lemme:
Do it well, because there are only a couple of people who know the actual Anderson Cooper story. You are one of them. And yes, I did tell the true executives about it, but I haven’t really ever told anybody else. It’s something I would have to get Anderson’s permission. Right. To tell publicly.
Kevin Heffernan:
Right.
Steve Lemme:
I know. Yeah. You
Kevin Heffernan:
Couldn’t tell that story, huh? You could not get away with telling that story. I’m saying you Yeah. He would be upset. Yeah. No,
Steve Lemme:
He might be upset. He might be upset. It’s such a tease too.
Kevin Heffernan:
It is. We’ll move off it. I tell you this. Yeah. One nice moment of where you were, you didn’t back down from a celeb was I’m standing in this party that night, and I was standing with a couple of the executives and a couple other people and something Impractical Jokers. We were having some beers, and all of sudden, there’s a commotion and there’s like a conga line kind of going through the middle of the party. And Anne Curry, who, I dunno if people know the true crews. Ann Curry, she’s a journalist a, she has a lot of, I think she’s on, well right now, she’s on C N N, but she used to, she’s been N B C or she’s used, be on one of the morning shows, used
Steve Lemme:
One of the, she hosted
Kevin Heffernan:
One of the morning shows.
Steve Lemme:
Good Morning America, with Matt Lauer. Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
Right. Okay. So I see Anne Curry making her way through the crowd towards the dance floor. And she has someone by the arm that she’s pulling onto the dance floor with her. Who was that? And it was Steve. Right.
Steve Lemme:
I
Kevin Heffernan:
Turned around and we saw Ann Curry pulling Steve Lemmy onto the dance floor. And it was one of the funniest visions I think I’ve had in a long
Steve Lemme:
Time. And the funny thing is because true to form, as she’s dragging me to the dance floor, and I’ll just correct you, the Conga line hadn’t begun yet.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. What it
Steve Lemme:
Was she wanted,
Kevin Heffernan:
It felt like a conga
Steve Lemme:
Line. The Congo line did eventually happen. Yeah. I begged off the Congo line of my hernia. Okay. So what happened was these parties, just to back up a little bit, this is last year there, there’s two parties. There’s the Upfronts, which is in the morning. That’s not a party. That’s like, that’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Presentation.
Steve Lemme:
And then there’s a few hours off, and then there’s a cocktail party. It’s a cocktail party that goes a few hours, and it’s in a badass place. And then there’s the late night party. There’s the late night party. Last year, it was the Killers who were playing specifically hired by Turner for this party this year. It was Diplo, the DJ
Kevin Heffernan:
Diplo? No, I didn’t know who Diplo was when somebody said it. I thought it was that UA Lipa. You know who that girl is?
Steve Lemme:
I know her because her Oh,
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. Her. I’ve seen her video. She, she’s good looking. UA Lipa.
Steve Lemme:
Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
And I was like, oh, DPA’s plan. Sure. My daughter’s like, DDU Lip. Yeah. Maybe I’ll check. Maybe that’s be fun. And then I found out I was wrong. It was Diplo. And then, I don’t know who Diplo is, but people are telling me who Diplo is, and he’s a dj, but he was dropping some
Steve Lemme:
Beats. He was dropping some beats. So last year the cocktail party was Snoop Dogg. Yeah. Who was the
Kevin Heffernan:
Dj? I know who he is.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. This year it was Dave Diggs and his dj. And Davey Digs
Kevin Heffernan:
Was the guy from Hamilton.
Steve Lemme:
Hamilton, who’s now on Snow Piercer. Yeah. So anyway, so yeah. Now there was the dance floor, and people weren’t necessarily dancing yet at
Kevin Heffernan:
This cocktail
Steve Lemme:
Party. And Curry wanted to get something going, and she chose me as her guy. And
Kevin Heffernan:
Now, was it random, or were you talking to Anne Curry at the time?
Steve Lemme:
I wasn’t talking to her. Okay. It was random. She came out to me and said, you come with me. Wow. And now I have to say, have this also to backpedal, because one thing we haven’t talked about is my suit, the suit I was wearing.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh yeah. God. We should put a picture up with that. I’ll put a picture of it with thing, but the
Steve Lemme:
Suit, not my Instagram. Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
You had a very fancy suit on.
Steve Lemme:
So your sister-in-law, Kelly K. Yep. Who’s your brother’s wife? She’s done wardrobe for us for several projects now,
Kevin Heffernan:
Including Tacoma fd.
Steve Lemme:
Including Tacoma fd. Yeah. And so one of the things she has is slowly easing her way into a role. She’s slowly easing her way into is our personal dresser.
Kevin Heffernan:
True.
Steve Lemme:
And she dressed you for the Super Troopers Uhi tour?
Kevin Heffernan:
Yep. She got me some suits
Steve Lemme:
And things like that. Got you. Some suits and all that. And you have basically entrusted her to be your stylist?
Kevin Heffernan:
Well, I mean, to her credit, and I guess a little bit in my wife’s prodding, they’ve been aggressive in doing that for me because I will otherwise not do
Steve Lemme:
It. Giving you a makeover of sorts.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. I will wear the same pants and shirt I’ve had for 20 years,
Steve Lemme:
The one with the stand and the Chevrolet
Kevin Heffernan:
Hat and the sweat. And she has been wonderful about trying to get me to improve my wardrobe. So she did that. And she’s doing the same thing for you? Well,
Steve Lemme:
She called me or texted me two or three weeks ago and was like, I have my eye on the suit that I think you could pull off. Do you want me to get it for you for the upfront? So I was like, yeah. Yeah. Because I’ve been thinking I had a suit. Yeah. But I was like, no, this is all my suit. They’re in the dark blue world. I was like, yeah, sure. If you got something that’s different. Yeah. Go for it. So, and it was like a plum colored three-piece suit with a vest. Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
Three-piece suit. Yeah, you’re
Steve Lemme:
Right. And I had a pair of shoes I had for over a year. Sure. That I’ve been trying to pair with something and I have not been able to pair it. And this suit was the one.
Kevin Heffernan:
Sure.
Steve Lemme:
So anyway, so you were standing next to me lot. I got a lot of compliments on that suit. A
Kevin Heffernan:
Lot of compliments. We’ll put a picture up. A
Steve Lemme:
Lot of compliments on the shoes.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. Yeah. A lot on the shoes too. A
Steve Lemme:
Lot of people telling me, now, this is not me. This is Kelly Kwan. Yeah. A lot of people telling me I, I was the best dressed guy at that lookout up front lookout.
Kevin Heffernan:
You probably were.
Steve Lemme:
And
Kevin Heffernan:
Better dressed than I was
Steve Lemme:
Even on Instagram. No, you had a nice suit.
Kevin Heffernan:
I know, but I’m saying, you know, were, it’s flashier. You had a flashy thing going, you.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. But even people who harass me. Yeah. My good friends on Instagram and things like that are like, I got to admit, it looks pretty good. I don’t want to admit. Anyway, begrudgingly, my point is briefly, I was introduced to Anne Curry at that, up at that earlier thing in the
Kevin Heffernan:
Morning.
Steve Lemme:
So my suspicion is she, I wasn’t wearing the suit at that party, but she remembered me or whatever.
Kevin Heffernan:
You’re the guy in the suit, is what she thought.
Steve Lemme:
I suspect
Kevin Heffernan:
That’s got, next thing you know, she’s pulling you onto the dance floor,
Steve Lemme:
Pulling me on the dance floor.
Kevin Heffernan:
It almost didn’t end well for her though, right? No,
Steve Lemme:
No. It ended terribly. It actually ended badly
Kevin Heffernan:
For her. Right. You guys all got on the dance floor and everyone crowded around. You guys started dancing, you started break dancing. Yeah. So
Steve Lemme:
We had, you were
Kevin Heffernan:
Break dancing.
Steve Lemme:
We had a circle. And I don’t bust out my break dancing too often. We talk about my
Kevin Heffernan:
Break dancing. I know. And all I could think was, oh my God is hernia.
Steve Lemme:
Oh my God. Well, that’s the thing. It limited. He’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Going to pop something. It limited showing up Ann Curry. He is going to pop something.
Steve Lemme:
That’s what it is. I was peacocking for. I know. I know. It was, you know what it was? It was, you’ll get a crack you, you’ll get a laugh out of this. So everybody’s dancing now, and there’s a dance circle. It’s started to form, and a couple people do their moves.
Kevin Heffernan:
Right.
Steve Lemme:
But nothing great. Sure. Nothing great. And now I’m like, I got Ann Curry over on one side, and then on the other side, I don’t know her last name, but her name is Niecy. Okay. She’s on that show clause. Sure,
Kevin Heffernan:
Sure, sure. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
And so Niecy and I took the Director’s Guild directing class together after the mandatory class, after I directed some episodes of to fd. And she was there, she was going to direct an episode of Clause, right. Clause. And she had asked a general question, and I actually gave her a tip in that class that I had used.
Kevin Heffernan:
And she remembered you.
Steve Lemme:
And that maybe not that the instructor, I don’t think she did, but the instructors had said, oh, yeah, no, that’s a good point. And so I had spoken to her earlier in the day because she was talking to Marcus, who was one of our actors. Anyway, so she was on one side, and Curry was on the other side. I was like, I’m going to go out and fucking break dance for these ladies. And so I Did
Kevin Heffernan:
Somebody get a stretcher?
Steve Lemme:
So I did. But then what happened is nobody wanted to follow me.
Kevin Heffernan:
Of
Steve Lemme:
Course. And this was the thing. And Oh, God, of course. And Curry even said, well, to me. She’s like, well, who’s going to follow that now? And I was like, that’s right, Anne, nobody. But then, now Marcus stepped in and grabbed Anne Curry by the arm and wanted to twirl her around the dang floor.
Kevin Heffernan:
Sure,
Steve Lemme:
Sure. And then what happened, Kev?
Kevin Heffernan:
I didn’t see the whole thing. I was back. I saw the thing, use the whole thing, but she kind of fell. Right. And he twisted her, almost pulled her arm out of her
Steve Lemme:
Socket. He was Marcus. I love him. He’s a bit of a bull in a China shop. He was whipping her around the dance floor to the point where Hassi leaned over to me and was like, that girls actually don’t like it when you make them dance that hard. And he was whipping her. And then he threw her so hard that she lost her balance and fell and turned 180 degrees. And I looked at her shoulder, turned 180 degrees in its socket. He didn’t let go then. Sure. And she was on the floor on her ass with her arm turned around 180 degrees. Still her hand in Marcus’ hand, Tacoma
Kevin Heffernan:
FD actor breaks Anne Curry’s arm. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
That’s basically what happened.
Kevin Heffernan:
Jesus. And was that it? Then the Dance Circle ended,
Steve Lemme:
Then that Dance circle ended, that ruined the dance circle. Then the Conga Line started.
Kevin Heffernan:
Alright. I was going by
Steve Lemme:
That and yeah, I think Ann Curry got me. She grabbed me again to Conga Line, but I have a hernia, and I didn’t want any part of that conga line. And so I peeled off.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay.
Steve Lemme:
And got out of there. You
Kevin Heffernan:
Lost, that’s how you lost Ann Curry.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. That’s all right. I’m a married man. I know the problem. The
Kevin Heffernan:
Problem. But it’s Ann Curry. I mean, that’s
Steve Lemme:
Funny. Interesting.
Kevin Heffernan:
Well, you, oh, you, yeah. You got a thing for the
Steve Lemme:
I Love Anchor Women.
Kevin Heffernan:
I love what episode? There’s an episode where you actually, we talk about that seven episode.
Steve Lemme:
Well, it’s episode six.
Kevin Heffernan:
It’s when there’s
Steve Lemme:
Two episodes in the row. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Episode six is when we go to Chet Chisholm’s house, full Moon
Kevin Heffernan:
Night. Right. And you say you’re a Diane, so Guy.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Because he’s been cranking it to Sure. To Katie Kirk. Right. And I’m like, I’m a Dan Dinosaur guy myself. And then the next episode,
Kevin Heffernan:
Right.
Steve Lemme:
Old Flame, when I’m hooking up with
Kevin Heffernan:
Joanne Cassidy,
Steve Lemme:
Joanna Cassidy, somebody mentions Diane.
Kevin Heffernan:
Right. And you say, I have a thing for, so you do have a thing for News Woman? I absolutely do. And that falls right into that category.
Steve Lemme:
Absolutely. Everybody knows I’ve read. Diane Sawyer is my top.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. Ann Curry is your now your second. Well,
Steve Lemme:
She actually is. And the thing is, like cnn, the CNN anchor women are actually back in the nineties. Yeah. C n N had, I remember during the Gulf War, I was watching C n N. Yeah. And their crew of anchor women just drove me
Kevin Heffernan:
Nuts. Do you remember who any of them were?
Steve Lemme:
I couldn’t possibly tell you any of their names. Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
But
Steve Lemme:
I loved them. And then I already liked Dan, Diane Sawyer. I’ve liked her on Sure. And Jessica Savage, too. Sure.
Kevin Heffernan:
That’s Dan Curry.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Curry is now, she’s number two on my list. Well, I like
Kevin Heffernan:
Diplo, so Yeah. No, I don’t know who, I don’t, don’t really know who Diplo is. I mean, not that, I mean, hear He is amazing. And we stayed there for what? We went to that Diplo party. We stayed there for maybe 25 minutes, half an hour. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
I was bummed. I wanted to get there. When the beat dropped.
Kevin Heffernan:
You were there when the beat dropped? I was, yeah. Oh, there was another person doing it. And then Diplo came out, and then he dropped his beats. Oh, okay. And
Steve Lemme:
Really, I don’t remember. I just wanted to, I learned that term. Are you going to be there when the beat drops? Yeah. And I threw that around all day
Kevin Heffernan:
Long. We were there when the beat dropped. Okay, cool. And then it was like, look at the fuck out of here. And so we went to a bar where we could talk to each other and the cast and everything. Yeah. Because you couldn’t hear a goddamn thing in that Diplo concert. No,
Steve Lemme:
No. And that to me is like, whatever. Why? I don’t even know why. But look, a lot of people liked that.
Kevin Heffernan:
They loved it. And
Steve Lemme:
That’s great. If I was with my wife and I was in the mood to dance, I would’ve been into it. Sure, sure. But it’s like, what? I’m standing next to you. Why do I want to be at a fucking
Kevin Heffernan:
Diplo? You were not standing next to me. You were somewhere else. And I was standing talking to some other people. Oh, I was talking about Joe Coy. Yeah. Who? Who’s a comic. Great guy. Yeah. Who I just met that day. Yeah. He has a new show at True. Yeah. And we were having a great conversation. Funny, great guy. And then you walked up, was like, look, get out of here. And I was like, all right, let’s get out of here.
Steve Lemme:
But I had never been planning on even, I was planning on walking in for one minute anyway, and leaving. Yeah. I wasn’t in the
Kevin Heffernan:
Mood. Right. It worked out. And we left with Joey Gato, and we got into the van and went back, and then we got dropped off at a bar, and then Joey took the van back to the Diplo party. Oh, he did?
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. I didn’t remember that. That’s funny.
Kevin Heffernan:
He wanted to get back to some Diplo,
Steve Lemme:
Somebody else We met at the, I know you. I don’t think you did, but I met Pedro.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, yeah. No, I saw him. I saw Pedro Martinez. I shook his hand. Well, they have the t b s, you know, baseball T, is it T b s? Yeah. T b s baseball crew was there. So Pedro Martinez was there, who I’m not a fan of. Never was. Never have been. And neither are you. But you shook his hand though. I shook his hand. Did you say anything to him?
Steve Lemme:
I said, Hey, dude, you’re awesome. You
Kevin Heffernan:
Didn’t do a little Latin little Latin thing. You Hold on.
Steve Lemme:
Hold on, amigo. No, you know what it is. It’s like I do. It’s kind of like when we met Tim Wakefield last year. Yeah. I appreciate the moments of exhilaration that I experienced from those Yankees. Red Sox. Yeah. Rivalries of the nineties and the aughts.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. Oh, I love that stuff. And I enjoyed meeting Tim Wakefield, and I liked Tim, but Praise Martinez committed an offense that I will never forgive.
Steve Lemme:
Is that beating up Don Zimmer? Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. Watching that. I will never forgive him for that.
Steve Lemme:
Ever. I wish we had the photo somewhere. I have the photo of my ass next to Pedro’s face on the tv. But it’s like, it’s funny because what we’re finding out is that the Red Sox, Jason Veak apparently is a huge Tacoma FD
Kevin Heffernan:
Thing. That’s right. He and his wife has
Steve Lemme:
Been tweeting about it and they like it.
Kevin Heffernan:
Which is, that’s fine too. But the Pedro thing, I just can’t get past him. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
He beat up Don Zimmer.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. I can’t get past him grabbing Don Zimmer by the head. It’s really,
Steve Lemme:
That’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Right to the ground. Terrible. But maybe someday cut to me hanging out with Pedro Martinez having a
Steve Lemme:
Good laugh. You’re the best. Congratulations.
Kevin Heffernan:
Way to go, Pedro.
Steve Lemme:
Oh, great
Kevin Heffernan:
Career. Alright. So that was the upfront. We had a great time and we’re still waiting to get picked up. But Yeah,
Steve Lemme:
They hoarded you out though, Kev. They trotted you out there.
Kevin Heffernan:
They really did. Even though they
Steve Lemme:
May not pick you up.
Kevin Heffernan:
They really did. We did a lot of press and a lot of things, but that’s okay. Yeah. We’ve had great opportunity. And then we got back for a day or two, and then we went back on the road.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
We went out and did our touring.
Steve Lemme:
We were home for less than 24 hours. Yeah. Then we went to New York City for the upfront. I
Kevin Heffernan:
Did, did 10 hours of yard work. That’s what I did when I got home.
Steve Lemme:
Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
Because I haven’t done yard work in eight months of the TV show. And I was like, today I’m just going to do yard work. I did yard work all day long.
Steve Lemme:
Okay. That was which day?
Kevin Heffernan:
Saturday.
Steve Lemme:
Okay.
Kevin Heffernan:
And then we left on Sunday,
Steve Lemme:
Thursday night, all of Friday, all of Saturday. And then, yeah, we left. Well,
Kevin Heffernan:
Friday we worked.
Steve Lemme:
Right.
Kevin Heffernan:
Friday we were in the office.
Steve Lemme:
True. That true dat.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yep.
Steve Lemme:
We really
Kevin Heffernan:
Were doing budget stuff. So then that Sunday, we went to Portland. Went to Portland, and we started that new leg of our tour, which has been a blast. We did the Portland at the Aladdin Theater, which is great. We saw a ton of true crew there. Had some good hugs. And then we drove up to Sea up to Tacoma.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Well, now that Portland, that Portland was funny. It was a Sunday night show. And for the last two Sunday nights, the last two episodes of Game of Thrones, you and I have had to watch on the Road
Kevin Heffernan:
True.
Steve Lemme:
Two weekends ago for the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones.
Kevin Heffernan:
That was Mother’s Day. That
Steve Lemme:
Was Mother’s Day. Yeah. We were in a hotel room together watching Game of Thrones. That’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Right. We sat in the hotel, and I tell you what, I haven’t had the experience of not being able to pause or rewind something that I really wanted to pause, rewind. I haven’t had that experience in a long, long time. No, I mean, and for the Game of Thrones, you’re like, that’s it. It’s going. And you’re sitting in a hotel, you can’t manipulate it. No. So you just got to let it go.
Steve Lemme:
That’s honest. TV watching, that’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Old school TV
Steve Lemme:
Watching. That’s like the old days right
Kevin Heffernan:
There. It’s the good old days. But then we went head to head against the finale of Game of Thrones in Portland.
Steve Lemme:
We went head to head in Minneapolis with the pens of episode. And then, yeah, the finale, we head to head with the Portland. Well, the Portland crowd was great. Nice turnout and great. But yeah, we, oh, no. But then the funny thing was, is that the week before in Minneapolis? Yeah. We were like scoped out the TV schedule and we’re like, all right, we’re going to watch the, it’s going to be the 1:00 AM.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. The rere broadcast is at whatever. Yeah. One we’ll get, we’ll finish with, and we just sit down no matter what, and we’ll do it.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. So we were talking about that as we were checking into our hotel in Portland that we were going to watch in the hotel tv. And the lady behind the front desk is like, oh, I’m sorry. We actually don’t have H B O in this hotel.
Kevin Heffernan:
And I’m like, what hotel doesn’t have fucking H B O? Every hotel is
Steve Lemme:
H B O. When’s the last time you ever saw? That’s part of the perk. Even the fuck, even the two hour motels. Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
That’s the
Steve Lemme:
Perk. On the side of the highway free hbo. And they’re like, come fuck your hooker in this
Kevin Heffernan:
Hotel for, right. Yeah. And we got HBO O an
Steve Lemme:
Hour plus HBO O vacancy and H B O. Right.
Kevin Heffernan:
And HBO O.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Who doesn’t have hbo? O? Well, that hotel, I
Kevin Heffernan:
Hope all did. You’re right, Portland,
Steve Lemme:
They didn’t have,
Kevin Heffernan:
Which was shocking.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. So I had to subscribe to H B O now.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh, you did? Yeah. I have H B O Go.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Well, so I subscribed to that, and I have a week to discontinue it.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. But that was it. We went to the show. We went and had some of, a bunch of our friends came, went and had beers and stuff like that. And then we went home to our respective hotel rooms, and I laid it on my bed with my computer on my chest, and watched the finale of Game Thrones. Yeah, me too. Which actually was very satisfying to me.
Steve Lemme:
It was to me too. Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
It was a fine way to watch it. And I could pause and rewind
Steve Lemme:
No, on my computer. It was fine. And it was great. I actually paused it a bunch of times and rewound it a bunch of times.
Kevin Heffernan:
And I thought I had a great time watching it. And I’m tired of all the critics.
Steve Lemme:
You’re tired of the critics. I’m tired of the critics too. I’m tired of the trolls, and I’m tired of the spoilers after the episode. I went on a Twitter, and there are people, it’s like PE people, they don’t even care. There are people who are just out there tweeting about Game of Thrones. They don’t care. They want to make their snarky comments and spoil it. And it’s like, it’s maddening to me. It’s
Kevin Heffernan:
An indictment of that. Those people,
Steve Lemme:
We have a society of trolls out there now. Or maybe it’s just, well,
Kevin Heffernan:
It doesn’t have to be. They’re not necessarily major. All it takes is a couple of them. You know what I mean? But I guess a million people sign that stupid fucking petition to reshoot. The reshoot the thing, I wonder if I like to see those assholes sit in a fucking room and write the script, and then go onto the set and shoot the fucking episodes. I like to see those assholes do
Steve Lemme:
That, and then edit it and put it together. And then I’d also like to see those assholes when they hear about a petition. Yeah, exactly. It’s like, you know what? You guys are wasting your time with that petition. Seriously. Because those fucking creators don’t even give a flying. Nobody
Kevin Heffernan:
Don’t gives a shit about your decision. Don’t, it’s only a good publicity for them. It’s just publicity for it. You know what I mean? But this new culture where you’d think that some piece of fiction should end the way you want it to end is an absurd concept.
Steve Lemme:
Well, the funny thing is that it’s like, it’s a Game of Thrones is Game of Thrones, because they would fuck with your head. I mean, it’s like the red wedding doing what they did at The Red Way, all the different PE characters that died and all the different episodes that broke people’s hearts. And yet, somehow in this final season, people were like, but we’re going to get a happy ending. I want a happy ending.
Kevin Heffernan:
I know it. All of a sudden, they fell in love with a certain character, and then they want that
Steve Lemme:
Character. Well, that character’s definitely going to get this thing,
Kevin Heffernan:
Be a good book person and win
Steve Lemme:
The Good Will win.
Kevin Heffernan:
And then I love the other thing, this other shit about how once they get past the books, that’s when everything falls apart. Yeah. But George r r Martin was involved in the whole fucking process.
Steve Lemme:
In fact, he told those guys what the plan was for each of those characters.
Kevin Heffernan:
Exactly. So these idiots saying that, oh, this is whatever, what the two guys’ names. I don’t know.
Steve Lemme:
Ben. Ben
Kevin Heffernan:
And
Steve Lemme:
Dj.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. They fucked it up somehow. DJ Diplo. It’s like George r r Martin was on long for the whole ride. Yeah. What do they fucking say to that?
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. Yeah. No, and the other thing too is, it’s so funny because I read so many fucking theories along the way this season. Like, oh, after every episode, I’d read the theories about what’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Coming. Yeah. There’d be theories about, oh, this and that, and this.
Steve Lemme:
Ooh, that’s interesting. That’s interesting. This could be, and this could be in every single one of them was wrong. I know. Every single theory was wrong. Yeah. Then the other things too, it’s like the, okay, the coffee cup. Yeah. The
Kevin Heffernan:
Coffee cup and the plastic bottle and the
Steve Lemme:
So, so just in, there’s three of ’em. There’s the coffee cup, there’s the Jamie Lannister hand,
Kevin Heffernan:
Right.
Steve Lemme:
Hugging Ccy Lannister. Yeah. In the penultimate episode. Right. And there’s the plastic bottle right now. The
Kevin Heffernan:
Coffee cup. There was a new one too. Did you hear the new one?
Steve Lemme:
No. What’s the
Kevin Heffernan:
New one? It was when people were devastatingly angry. When there was a shot in the final episode where there’s a closeup of CSI’s hand, like touching a the throne or whatever. And her people were super angry. She had a really good French manicure of her nails. And there was this whole outcry of how could she have ridden a dragon around and done this and gone war had of a perfect manicure. Oh boy. And people were outraged about it.
Steve Lemme:
Oh boy. It’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Fucking ridiculous.
Steve Lemme:
I’ll tell you how, if you can blast her with Dragon Fire and her hair comes out perfect.
Kevin Heffernan:
Who? Bro. That character is bro. Goddamn. Damn right, brother. That’s
Steve Lemme:
Who that character is. But yeah, so it’s like the coffee cup. Fine. I get that. That’s like, yeah, that should
Kevin Heffernan:
Happen.
Steve Lemme:
Whatever. On a lot of levels though. It’s like the coffee cup on the table. There’s somebody who should be there. We’re making a period piece here about some ancient fantasy man. Yeah. I can see. Or the actor even is like, right.
Kevin Heffernan:
But I’ve said it to you. I mean, there’s so many times we’re shooting art show, and you don’t know what the lens is, so you don’t know, or you know what the frame is, right? Yeah. So it’s like if I’m shooting your closeup, yeah, you’ve got a coffee cut on the table. But you may, as an actor, might think you’re shooting the closeup, but you’re not shooting the wide shot. Sure. It happens all the fucking time. And there’s a bottle or whatever. And a lot of times they’ll reshoot it or they’ll take it out digitally. I don’t know why they didn’t, but who fucking caress? Because I didn’t see the coffee cup until they pointed it out to me.
Steve Lemme:
No, I didn’t see it.
Kevin Heffernan:
And I’ll tell you what, even when the Coffee cup was, if I had seen the coffee cup, I’d be like, oh, well, it is a TV show. Yeah. It’s not fucking real.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. There’s that. And then there’s the fingertips around Ccy Lannisters thing. And to that one, I say, fuck you. Like you fucking losers need to
Kevin Heffernan:
Stop
Steve Lemme:
Pausing shit and looking for these things. Yeah. Just watch it. Because that’s the only, you could only spot that if you were looking for it. And the plastic water bottle, I mean, that’s a sliver of a bottle behind the guy’s leg.
Kevin Heffernan:
That happens all the time. You drink your water and then you put it down behind the chair and you think that it’s out of frame and the camera moves, and then they see it, and it happens all the fucking
Steve Lemme:
Time. But people need to get a fucking life.
Kevin Heffernan:
Get over it. If you did that to Tacoma fd, you’d find tons of shit fucking water bottles all over the place.
Steve Lemme:
Okay. So yeah, Portland, after Portland,
Kevin Heffernan:
We went to Portland. We drove Toma to Tacoma
Steve Lemme:
Two, which was
Kevin Heffernan:
Wonderful.
Steve Lemme:
Phenomenal shows, two sold out shows. It
Kevin Heffernan:
Was great to go up there after the series has been airing, because now all the guys up there I’ve seen, and all the firefighters have seen it. Everyone loves it. The show sold out. It was a Monday night for a Saturday night. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
My favorite part about that was, one of the things we’ve been doing in our opening bid is how many people here have not watched Tacoma fd? And then we say, it’s okay. You can raise your hands. It’s okay. It’s okay. And then we rip ’em apart. Well, the people in Tacoma who raised their hands that had not seen Tacoma FD only a few, we fucking shredded those people.
Kevin Heffernan:
Sure. We
Steve Lemme:
Shredded
Kevin Heffernan:
Those people. The show was about the town they live in. It’s
Steve Lemme:
The only show ever made about the town of Tacoma. You might as well be watching. I mean, what else are you waiting for?
Kevin Heffernan:
But we hooked up with the firefighters up there, and they all came to the show, and they brought us an amazing gift.
Steve Lemme:
An amazing gift They made us, it was very, I think it was a little bit emotional. They presented us backstage. We did a private hang with them beforehand for about 30 minutes and before the show. And it was a bunch of the guys that had brought us to Tacoma in the first place when we
Kevin Heffernan:
Prepared Tacoma Do charity event.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. And so they gave us this ax that they had made for us what basically is bedazzled.
Kevin Heffernan:
They bejeweled the
Steve Lemme:
Axe. Yeah. It says Tacoma f d on it with flames. And then there’s
Kevin Heffernan:
So
Steve Lemme:
Cool. There’s a bottle opener on the back in case of emergency.
Kevin Heffernan:
And then also they carved, what we love are these firefighter stories. And what they did is they carved a list of 10 titles of funny stories that they’d encountered, which we will have to go and circle back with them and get the real stories. But they’re just titles of funny, like
Steve Lemme:
Hooker poop.
Kevin Heffernan:
Hooker poop. Yeah. One of ’em.
Steve Lemme:
Because again, the more firefighters you meet, we’re meeting a ton of them now and it’s been awesome. They all have stories. The
Kevin Heffernan:
Chief came, the retired chief, he just
Steve Lemme:
Retired Chief Duggan, he
Kevin Heffernan:
Came with his wife,
Steve Lemme:
Presented us with Chiefs challenge coins, which was great. I mean those are really special shows for us. And it’s cool. It’s like you feel a connection with the people of Tacoma and of course the fire department of Tacoma. So that was great.
Kevin Heffernan:
Those were great. Those are great shows and it was fun to go there. And then we hopped a plane and we went to Boulder, Colorado. We flew into Denver, went to Boulder to do our show. And the fun thing about that was that the other lizards, Jay and Eric and Paul are shooting a TV pilot up in the mountains. It’s kind of like an old western kind of pilot. It’s cool stuff. And they happen to be there all week shooting. And so they came down out of the mountains, out of the snowy mountains of
Steve Lemme:
Colorado. It was not its ass off in Colorado.
Kevin Heffernan:
It was on May 21st. And those guys came and joined us at our show and Jay did a set
Steve Lemme:
And true to form. It’s funny because like you were on stage doing your set and I told him, I was like, here’s the way it’s going to go, Jay. He showed up, he’s like, how much time do I have? I said, well, he’s on. Yeah. And then we’re going to do our two man thing. He arrived a minute after you started. Oh, okay. And I was like, so really you’ve got about 25 to 30 minutes and then we’ll bring you up on stage for your solo of set. So we got done with our two man and made a big pomp in circumstance. So we’re going to bring out a special guest for you. And the funny thing is, one woman was like, is it Ike from Tacoma? After you were like, no, it’s not Ike. We’re going a little bit deeper than that. We’re bringing out one of our broken lizard buddies. And people started cheering. I said, give it up for our great friend Jay Shands. And the place went fucking
Kevin Heffernan:
Nuts. Nanas
Steve Lemme:
And then, and nothing. No one stepped on stage. And I went and looked.
Kevin Heffernan:
He’s downstairs.
Steve Lemme:
He was downstairs still
Kevin Heffernan:
In the green room just hanging out. Yeah. Jay, that’s your cue
Steve Lemme:
Buddy. Yeah. Jay, you’re, you’re up. I introduced him again, Jay Chandra, Skar, everybody. Still nothing. And then finally he came running up and he had a bottle in one arm and a cocktail on the other hand. And he was like, all a mess. He was like, go, go, go, go. You’re on. You’re on, dude. You’re on. Yeah.
Kevin Heffernan:
Okay. And then he came out and I said, Hey, you missed your cue, buddy. Yeah. It’s always good to hit your cue. You know what I mean? But we had a great show in Boulder that was a lot of fun at the Boulder Theater.
Steve Lemme:
And then we did a group chug against People.
Kevin Heffernan:
We did with Paul and Eric at the end of the show and saw a lot of who crew, a lot of Tacoma fans. Tacoma fans were shouting quotes out from the audience, which is great from the show, which is a lot of fun.
Steve Lemme:
Yeah, no, I mean it’s huge. We’ve got a lot of Tacoma FD fans showing up, a lot of people saying great things and yeah, we had one side of the crowd was shouting, it’s busted. It’s busted. Another side of the crowd started going, it’s soft. It’s soft. And then everyone in the crowd started going soft, soft,
Kevin Heffernan:
Soft. That’d
Steve Lemme:
Be great. Which is just great. It’s a
Kevin Heffernan:
Blast. So
Steve Lemme:
Here’s, here’s something funny, I’ll just pop in before we leave, which I think is comical about you, Kev. Yeah. Is that every time we’re driving, we’ve rented a car. Yeah. And we’re going to the airport and we realize we have to fill up on gas. Yeah. You start ranting about the fact that there are not enough hate that gas stations between where we are and the rental car return place and how if you want to make some money, right, you should put a gas station right next to the rental car return. It’s
Kevin Heffernan:
Pure capitalism.
Steve Lemme:
And every time you’re finished with your rent, we find a gas station
Kevin Heffernan:
Sometimes, but sometimes you go, fuck it, I’m not filling it up. Yeah. That’s where you just take it, bring it back Today. It’s like, fuck it, I’m just going to drop it
Steve Lemme:
Off. And today you didn’t wait for the rental car receipt either. That’s how I know when we’re at the end of our tour, your patience level has run out. Well,
Kevin Heffernan:
It also, you could tell you got there and there was a lot of people standing around. There was like one person checking everybody out. Everyone looked impatient. And then you realize you get the car back to them, all they’re going to do is print out a receipt and email it to you. Yeah. So it’s like, ah, fuck it. Let’s go. Sure. But yeah, no, it is definitely one of my hates.
Steve Lemme:
Oh
Kevin Heffernan:
Is when the gas station’s not right there at the rental thing. Because think how much money you would make if you’re a gas station owner and you put it next to the Kev.
Steve Lemme:
If you
Kevin Heffernan:
Notice a hole in the market, think how much money you can make if you notice
Steve Lemme:
A hole in the market. It’s just
Kevin Heffernan:
Capitalism, man. Just pure capitalism.
Steve Lemme:
I’m with you Don.
Kevin Heffernan:
Alright, so anyway, we had the show in Boulder. We jumped the plane. Now we’re in New York City. We’re going to do a show tomorrow night or tonight, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. Tonight
Steve Lemme:
Because this thing drops on Thursday
Kevin Heffernan:
And then we’ll be done and then we go back and hopefully prepare for a new season of Tacoma FD
Steve Lemme:
Thursday, May 23rd tonight, the final show of Heffer and Lemmy. Right. Certainly for 2019,
Kevin Heffernan:
I hope. Okay. If we have a TV show,
Steve Lemme:
Well that’s how that then the whole thing gets negated and then we’ll be on the road. We’ll be writing a new comedy show. We’ll be on the
Kevin Heffernan:
Road again. Sure. We’ll be writing movies and stuff. Yeah.
Steve Lemme:
And the idea is that after we’re done filming our second season, we would go right into filming Super Troopers. Three. Let’s hope and or
Kevin Heffernan:
Something else. Knock on wood, knock
Steve Lemme:
On wood. Knock on wood. Or into season three. Alright.
Kevin Heffernan:
Good job everybody. Yeah, thanks Charu for coming out to all these shows. It’s been great seeing a lot of chew crew out there. A lot of good hugs out there. And don’t forget to watch Tacoma fd. Yeah. Couple more episodes and then just go back and binge watch it. You can keep watching. It’ll be on demand. And
Steve Lemme:
Then also go watch the explicit versions on the True TV app. Right. Because they got those and they’re funny. The dirty
Kevin Heffernan:
Versions. Yeah. Alright, everybody.
Steve Lemme:
What are you going to chew on your way out? Oh
Kevin Heffernan:
God, I don’t know which I some something new.
Steve Lemme:
Yorkie. I’m having a gyro.
Kevin Heffernan:
Oh you are?
Steve Lemme:
Yeah. I’m having a Carava. Gyre.
Kevin Heffernan:
I’m going to have a Kish.
Steve Lemme:
Okay. I mean, look, that’s your opinion. That’s your choice. And I respect
Kevin Heffernan:
That. There was a time in my life where I was on a Kish phase. Just Yeah. A potatoey.
Steve Lemme:
I’ve never really been a Kish guy.
Kevin Heffernan:
Yeah. There was a time where I was on a Kish run.
Steve Lemme:
Okay. Okay. The Kish Run. You should sponsor a charity event called The Kish Run. Sure. People running for charity.
Kevin Heffernan:
Sure. And thrown by the fire commissioner. The Kish Kish.
Steve Lemme:
The Commiss of the Kish. The Kish Kish. Yeah. You’re the commission of the Kish run. All right, good.
Kevin Heffernan:
Anyway, that’s a good, all right, so what are you eating? You’re going gyro? I’m going Kish. Yeah. Alright, let’s do it. Alright everybody
Steve Lemme:
Talk to you next week. Alright, everybody. Alright. Two more episodes of Taco Fd.
Kevin Heffernan:
Talk to you next week. Bye.